(in Buddhism) a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.
When I was younger I had this habit to attribute things to people, stuff like if like person X’s familiar would likely be a praying mantis because of her aura of perpetual meditation, or perhaps deliberation, and was not one to be messed with. Or this lawyer that had an uncanny resemblance and manner to a bulldog.
I grew up watching Avatar the Last Airbender, and of the four elements, earth has always been my favourite. I never told anyone this but I had this vision of myself as this oak sapling, that one day I’ll be this towering, formidable sentinel knees-deep into the earth, toes dipping in the water table beneath and branches catching amiably in the wind. They’ll be homes to all sorts of birds. I’ll be this secret place of contemplation for that harried student who’d rest against my gnarled trunk.
Van Gogh inspired fanart. Via Pinterest, click to see the pin.
So I’ve finished Doctor Who and am where everyone else is at, awaiting the rein of Peter Capaldi. My body spasms in tears and the time in between them can extend for days. I cry in quiet little tremors and every tear is like an arrow that leaks through the cracks in my skin and strikes my singular human heart. It is finally sinking in that Matt is not The Doctor on screen anymore. I mean, and we all can agree, that he – like the other magnificent men – will always be The Doctor. Our Doctor.
It bites every time a face is lost to time, if you know what I mean. Matt, oh, Matt. Ugh. I can’t ever say anything proper. I love him unlike any other. The funny thing is that at the beginning, I acknowledged him as the enigmatic Time Lord before I realized he was an actor. I mean that in a good way, and there are some bad ways it could go because I understand that some actors don’t like to be stuck in our minds just as a particular character. Matt, nah. He seems to bathe in every second of it.
I … I just. Oh for the love of custard and fish bits! I’ll spit it out. His Doctor was one who was filled with the pain on the inside but tried to cover it up under this ever fresh coat of happy paint; fresh because he mostly means it. He was the optimist, the best friend (and the son-in-law, hehe), ever the fighter and believer in dreams and bow-ties and fezzes. Matt’s energy and well-spring of vitality always always makes me feel better about myself and this world, more than any of the previous two had. I haven’t emphasized enough on how much of a goof he was but it was so obvious to us Whovians. Continue reading