Happy New Year!

First thing’s first, I was locked out of my account because I forgot where I put my list of codes to log in (typical) and  the text code feature wasn’t working, so yeah, I couldn’t post during Christmas week. A shout-out to Kris, the Happiness Engineer that got me back in. You rock, dude.

Got this cuddly widdle guy from here

I know 2014 has been absolute nonsense to some of us, sprinkled with the good things that propelled us forward. It’s 100% a possibility that is an understatement for many of people. Just thinking of last year, how close it is to this one still, rouses up some upsetting feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don’t like it one bit. Personally, sure I was conflicted here and there but on a more general level, a more connected-to-humanity-level I am disgusted with the senseless loss of life born of ignorance and hate, saddened and hollowed with the people lost from the air disasters and the boat ones and the train ones and those guys in the stampede in Beijing on New year’s day.

I don’t know what it takes to be someone to govern a country, city or town but it has to take a lot of brass. Every leader has his or her own agenda that affects ‘the people’ but I reflect especially on Russia and Ukraine, on whose affairs I’m not qualified on any level to speak on with any authority but that of a concerned and curious outsider, I ask not only those two leaders but all those involved in peace making in that conflict to do one thing: look at the people.

Yes, aid has pouring in as best as it could and I am at peace inside that people sill care enough (what does that tell about my outlook on humans? A post for another time probably). Again, I have not a clue about the mind numbing effort it takes to organize and make treaties and attend talks and make decisions affecting the lives of billions. But for a moment, can we all just step back from the political and religious extremism (I am not pointing fingers here) that usually start all this clusterfu-

Look, just step back, okay? Boys and men, and the girls and women in the battlefield. No longer fresh faced and ready. Angry and blank. Hot and cold. And look at the children huddled under rippling blue tarp in a hastily put together shelter some places familiar and those others foreign, alien; lost family members, festering wounds, chapped lips and spasming bellies, meticulously portioned food; mothers and fathers sick with worry, elders with bleak eyes and maps etched deep into their faces, souls ready to skedaddle out from their ears.

I am not saying that these leaders aren’t seeing because they most obviously do Continue reading “Happy New Year!”


Feel my love

I wrote this while I was listening to Adele’s ‘I Can’t Make You Love Me‘ but I feel that it read in the rhythm of her version of ‘Make You Feel My Love‘.

The night I’ve been cloaked under has lasted so long. The seasons come and go before my eyes, like watching the world go around from my bedroom window. I’ve driven people away yet I need them close. I … I am a tangled mess, like old hair stuck in the bristles of a brush.

A snowflake tentatively approaches me, as if knowing that I’m too hot to touch but still wants to feel the burn. That impulsive snowflake melts before landing on my face.  I’m too hot even for me to bear.

And when the cool fall breeze breathes along my body, it chafes at my skin.

Who will love me when the morning nears? After the witnessed darkness of my nights? Who will love me with the sun decides to shine, illuminating the drying trail of tears? Your beautiful face comes to me shining in the pale moonlight.

Do you think I have anything left to give? Does that molten emotion still flow in the husk of me? It’s a question you’ll have to be brave enough to seek. But I’d swear it to you, your memory is what’s been keeping me alive. Come closer and let me gather you near. Come a little bit closer like you used to do. How else can I make you feel my love?

Field of dandelions

WARNING: Serious stuffs below.

via Pinterest, click to see more.

I’ll never claim to have an organized mind so it may come as no surprise that I still can’t sort out what to scratch about next. I find that it helps to amble aimlessly until I scan on some interesting bit as I breeze by the internal mental landscape of my head. Here goes.

Being young and having the means at the ready to be almost anything you want to be is, at it’s core, a depressing state. Oh, why I’m fortunate but even then life isn’t a field of daisies. It’s almost another year and I’m not at the least anxious in awaiting my A Levels results, it can’t be good. What do I want to be when I grow up? Am I grown up? Age is no definite marker in maturity but I believe I’m almost there. I’m good with my hands. I’m my family’s masseuse and I’m constantly being told by a few members and some friends that I would do very well professionally.

I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot but certain persons don’t think it suitable for me. I have to play to my strengths and consider advice as it comes my way. I’m beginning to even bore myself here with all this dreary talk of my future, but it is what it is. I want to have a little book shop on the side whilst teaching English, eventually as a foreign language. I want to have a tight group of friends who’ll love the person I am despite my earthen scale of faults. Perhaps I watch Friends too much.

Continue reading “Field of dandelions”

Content with my coconuts and skies

Via Pinterest
This lovely piece was found via Pinterest. I know what it looks like, but let’s not.

Just now Katty Kay announced on the television that in Damascus the four children and the school bus driver, casualties in a clash between rebel forces and the Syrian army, were laid to rest today. I felt my throat constrict and dilate in tiny painful spasms. It was only a matter of seconds that I would feel my tears. My heart was trembling at yet another loss of life. I mean of course it happens every minute somewhere, death, but to be ripped off of this earth so violently … it’s horrifying to me on the other side of the screen, another world away. I walked in to my room, knelt and prayed.

I think that after a while of watching the news that one can become desensitized to the brutality of war, but that’s not true. I can’t speak for anyone else but for me to a point I can ignore it. What has it to do with me? Oh how it would have been easier if I were more selfish but I’m not that heartless, I hope I’m not. Every news update, every breaking news builds up like bits and pieces of rubble into a heap just waiting for the last speck to tip the whole thing over my head.

Then there’s this typhoon that ravaged the Philippines. We all knew what it looks like over there – no, no not really we’ve only snatched a glimpse. No five minute video footage could ever voice the trauma and hopelessness of a people who’ve had everything that’s mattered snatched from them, and no one person or persons to blame but the temperamental elements. I’m not going to further expound, I don’t have the right to.

Continue reading “Content with my coconuts and skies”

Compassion In Boston

You need to read this.

Legendary Post

An Inspiring Article, Originally Posted Here


Eric Adelson
Eric Adelson
Yahoo! Expert

Boston Marathon explosions attract an outpouring of help from city’s residents

2 hours 33 minutes ago

It’s a plain spreadsheet with a simple title: “I have a place to offer.”

What follows is simply inspiring.

There are names, thousands of names of people in the Boston area with standing offers to help those displaced by the horrifying explosions near the finish line of Monday’s Boston Marathon. By Monday evening, the Google document had become more than a resource for the stranded. It became a viral statement of solidarity from the proud people of Massachusetts.

Links to the list can be found on the front page of the Boston Globe website. “Have a place to offer?” the website reads. “Fill out this form.”

[Related: Get more coverage of the Boston Marathon explosions]

There are email addresses and…

View original post 559 more words

The importance of mornings

Via Pinterest, click to see

This morning I hadn’t much sleep, but unlike most this was with good reason. My grandma wasn’t feeling well and I got up to test her sugar and pressure a couple times. She took her pills. I worry about her. I followed her to the washroom least she falls and hit herself again. She insisted on going with my father to the city, ordering my mother and I not to tell him anything. I usually do tell him, but I suspect if I did today she’d end up getting mad at me and stressing her tired heart even more. I love my grandma dearly.

I’m always told that I’m her favourite, and I always smile because I could see that I was. For the most part of my eighteen years I slept by her side and as each year sprints away I wonder how much longer do we have with her. Well, her and my granda. I wouldn’t handle it well at all should something happen to them, and I hate to say this to sound biased, especially her. That woman is the most hard working person, next to my dad, who I had the honor to know, I would cry if I were to recount what the both of them have been through. My parents will be around for a while yet but I hope to God that I get to squeeze as much time with them.

I set my phone to wake her up a 2:30 AM. I got up again at five, opened my favourite window and cloud gazed. Mornings are for … I forgot this already, let me try … Mornings are for positive thoughts and good energy. Think about it; they aren’t there just to look pretty (if the weather feels fine), it has a purpose and if you look hard enough and far enough you’ll see it.

Continue reading “The importance of mornings”