Let me tell you a thing, I suck at interaction sometimes and this would mostly apply to blogging and visiting blogs. So when I say I am so grateful for all the visits this here humble virtual abode of mine got in my absence, I mean this with all my heart. I have one or two other excuses, of course. Thank you, gracias, merci, grazie! I can’t imagine why you guys stick around.
I’ve hit some sort of wall that I’m finally scaling at a creeping pace (if that makes sense) and my computer is still acting up even after the check up I got done and I’ve got to start saving up for a new one soon, and apparently I think better, or should say more, when I type as opposed to writing (except for poetry, though).
I’ve been drowning myself in music, more than the usual anyways. I’ve gotten into Radiohead quite a bit, “Body Snatchers” hooked me. Um then I discovered Redbone, The Archies and got an eyeful (haha) earful of “Hang on Sloopy” by The McCoys. Sort of a longish list, really. Also electro swing, ugh, such curvaceous sound waves.
I feel my attention slipping away already and I hate that. I hate that I want to write things but I end up feeling that I don’t follow through. I feel disappointed in my self yet I understand why … but still. I drive myself insane with contradicting tendencies, it almost makes sense.
(US and International suicide hotlines at the end)
Dear fellow humans,
If you made it past a really bad yesterday it means that you’re still here today, able to reach a computer, your eyes aren’t burning badly and too blurry from exhaustion. That’s a lot than what some people can say, the ones that collapse into an unconscious heap, sleep-starved. I don’t know what your life is like so I’m not going to pretend that I do but I have an idea of how it can knock a body down.
It’s extremely saddening to hear when someone gives up on the whole business of existing. Suicide isn’t the solution. If anything, it makes life even more terrible for those still alive. This is issue has been plaguing me off and on for the past few months; why is it so appealing? Oblivion? But what use is that? When so many people are fighting every second, grabbing with hands and feet onto the thread that still binds them to life.
“There’s no such thing as an ordinary human.”
~The (ninth) Doctor
To friends and family and co-workers and even strangers
I understand it’s difficult to spot when when someone is thinking about committing suicide but whenever you see a friend depressed or withdrawn, try to talk to them. A lot of people feel unloved and not cared for, that they’re so insignificant that their absence won’t even matter. Show them that you’re there whenever they need you.
To you, the suicidal
Don’t do it. Please please please don’t. You’re so much more than nothing. You can turn around if you try and you really have to try. If not for your sake now, think about the family and friends and the strangers you’ll never meet, because you can affect everyone of them. One man caused the holocaust, he made that difference. So what change can you, a good person, make?
“900 years of time and space and I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important.”
– The (tenth) Doctor
You can be so much more. There might not be anyone else there for you but you. You are all that you have and you can be strong. I know, personally, someone who very nearly killed herself for the most stupid reason and today she see’s what a fool she was. Not all worries are stupid, or inconsequential but if you’re still breathing the next day, well, it means that it hasn’t destroyed you. If you can survive another day then you can do it again, again … and a thousand other days.
I understand Movember is a moustache growing charity event held to raise awareness as well as funds for men’s health. That’s so awesome. Personally, I think women’s health have been greatly supported particularly in the media more than that of the dudes. No problems with that, all I’m saying is that both are equally important …
Oh flippy skippy, what I’m really trying to get at is that I’ve noticed my own lip hat has been more obstinate and noticeable of late, as if it is rallying in support to it’s male brethren. I’m on the fence on whether I should be proud or annoyed. Normally I’d be tolerant of it’s presence in the name of natural beauty, because let’s face it, little downy bristle on a woman is hawt.
Along the pinning and re-pinning, one user had said: Makes you rethink all of the fad diets. Your body needs energy to run which comes from sugar (basically). The type of sugar you supply is where the difference lies. Fruits and veggies are great for vitamins and nutrients but don’t supply long amounts of energy.
The info-graphic says it all, and it makes sense. The MyFitnessPal app is free and it looks promising, give it a go, goodness knows I need a proper journal about these things. I haven’t tried the other two … as yet anyway so don’t forget them too.
Hi everyone! The week’s come to a close once more (thank goodness, too!) and I have some very positive things to report:
I’ve been getting regular exercise! I’ve been varying the different kinds and I research the more I learn about what’s good for my body and what’s not. I feel myself changing from the indifferent cherub that I was into a more health gal and I must say all that time I’ve invested in myself lately has left me energized after each session. Continue reading “A few things I’m happy about”→
Rated: 4 stars Recommends it to: Young adults, particularly girls who are over weight and have a problem with it. Guys, you too. You need to see how some girls think.
A note before you read: Like literally all reviews are, this one is subjective and may be too … harsh? I don’t know, but I want to say that the story had components that I feel strongly towards. Also, I mean no disrespect to the people of California or anyone else. It’s been a bad day but don’t let me spoil yours
Hayley’s over weight, her mother nags her constantly over the fact and it got on my nerves. No matter how much she tries Hayley can’t give up the food she enjoys for the tasteless yucky tofu (or at least I think it’s yucky, I’ve never tasted the stuff) Gwyn, the mom, forces down the throats of the whole family, the kitchen’s the most avoided room in the apartment. I can’t imagine living like that, my mom’s not the best cook but she’s a decent one and I always manage to worm myself out of not eating cook-up (a local dish, not sure if it has any other name).
Another thing what I didn’t like was Hayley’s hatred of herself for being the ‘f’ word. Fat. I can understand, this something I closely empathize with, if not entirely. I know what it’s like to be Chubby Dean, what it feels like to be constantly reminded that I needed to lose weight and the feeling of momentary loathing of those tell me and the more lasting dose for myself. What was wrong with me? Does being fat make me uninteresting, an eyesore? Unlikeable? Does it make who I am less important? One of the lessons I’ve learned last year was the answer to these questions: Nothing. No. No. No. And. No. There are worse things to be.
Post originally written on 25th July (See? I do it all the time)
In psychology, procrastination refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of lower priority, or doing something from which one derives enjoyment, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time.
In my previous post I’d mentioned that I felt like kicking myself and that was due to my bad habit of procrastinating. Usually I’m a late riser and mom had yet another rant about it because I decided that I can’t help going in late (I work night shifts) so I’m going to wake late anyways so what’s wrong with staying up later to do some revision, I asked her. “It’s too late” was her answer, so in another attempt to get something done I hit the hay at 12 the other night. Success! I woke up at nine. But well … I got distracted.
Dirty Harry was on, I couldn’t miss Clint Eastwood in action! Then Ben 10 Alien Force was on around 2 o’ clock and I couldn’t miss that either! Television is both a blessing and a curse. It’s my fault and nobody else’s (I understand this is grammatically incorrect but it serves my purpose, my apologies to more strict grammar Nazis out there) and I will go so far as to admit that I need help. I frustrate myself so much I don’t know what to do and well this sets my mood for the rest of the day.
I can’t write anymore on this subject for fear that I’ll go deeper into depression than I already am. Have you experienced this too? Have you found any solution?
I haven’t gone any length in depth with the concept of procrastination, but I’ll get to it … later.
… is a blurry one. Last week Wednesday I’d gone to the optician to get my eyes tested. It’s about one year now now that I got my first pair of
glasses but I really knew that my sight was getting worse when I had to constantly borrow Ann’s glasses to see on the blackboard. According to Dr.Fries, that’s really her name, I need lenses with twice the prescription of my first ones and I see better with my right eye than with my left, weird.
I’m going to still use my old frames so when dad went to town (miles and miles away) this morning, along with him went my glasses because Doc received my new lenses from Pete-knows-where. That means today until he comes home I’ll have to go about working with the eyesight almost equivalent to that of a bat and it’s annoying! Now everyone gets to see my dark circles aka my raccoon eyes. Aaarrrgggg, then I’m like screw it because it’s no use crying over what I can’t change (lately the earliest I hit bed was like 10PM) I suffer from CNO syndrome (Chronic Night Owl Syndrome) and I’m not big on makeup.
I’m going to be honest and say that I’m self conscious about my body weight (amongst a few other things), a lot of people are. Why am I so worried that I don’t have a flat tummy like the other girls or like the models in the magazines? I thought that people would love me more, nobody likes a fat kid, I mean those women look beautiful, slim, graceful and lithe. Society has painted this picture that skinny or slim women are beautiful and desirable and I was mesmerized by the pretty colours and wanted to be in that painting.
There was a point in my life, around 7th grade, that I began to eat less and less (I did not stop eating at together) and exercised more than I should when I should have gotten more sleep instead. I got my results, I dropped a few pounds, yippie, though I felt much weaker physically and mentally. The dreaded pounds caught up with me again after a while and by now I was just frustrated and more self conscious than before.
I read a lot, all kinds of books with all kind of stories and information and lessons the authors have learned over their years. I can’t remember exactly what I had read or what I had seen on television that had snagged my attention. The question was why was it important to be skinny? I stated my reasons above. But it got me thinking, is it important what people thought about me if I was fat? Shouldn’t it be about the person who I am inside? I could lose weight and gain it all back again but the person who I am will not change. Skinny does not necessarily mean smart or, as I’ve come to accept, beautiful or even healthy. Continue reading “Wait a second there weight”→