I’m getting into the art of making my own Pinterest pins now. Hopefully people will think I’m deep and will follow me.
I’ve come to realize this for some time now. Whether you know it or not, the people around us help shape who we are and while that’s good it’s a tricky task to not let them make us who we are not, to not let them dictate what we should and should not do. Most of the time they can’t be blamed; not everyone is aware of their effect on others, it is up to you to single yourself, to stand out.
Sometimes we consciously make the choice to be someone else. I’m guilty of this. You can’t be anyone else, but you can sure try. I find that when I do this I’m always discontent with myself. I know that it’s because I can’t be someone I’m not meant to be and I’d always end up hating myself. It’s like shoving a puzzle piece into where it doesn’t fit no matter how much you press and reposition.
I believe it’s okay to have role models. Look up to them, retain their good values and learn from their past fumbles, but it just won’t do to try to be almost exactly like someone you’re not no matter what a great person they are or were. Why? Simple, they are they, he is he and she is she. You are you.We’re all cut out to be different from each other though some of us might come from similar cloth, but in different shapes, textures, colours, plus those tiny details and patterns, patches even, that distinguishes us.
I’m going to be honest and say that I’m self conscious about my body weight (amongst a few other things), a lot of people are. Why am I so worried that I don’t have a flat tummy like the other girls or like the models in the magazines? I thought that people would love me more, nobody likes a fat kid, I mean those women look beautiful, slim, graceful and lithe. Society has painted this picture that skinny or slim women are beautiful and desirable and I was mesmerized by the pretty colours and wanted to be in that painting.
There was a point in my life, around 7th grade, that I began to eat less and less (I did not stop eating at together) and exercised more than I should when I should have gotten more sleep instead. I got my results, I dropped a few pounds, yippie, though I felt much weaker physically and mentally. The dreaded pounds caught up with me again after a while and by now I was just frustrated and more self conscious than before.
I read a lot, all kinds of books with all kind of stories and information and lessons the authors have learned over their years. I can’t remember exactly what I had read or what I had seen on television that had snagged my attention. The question was why was it important to be skinny? I stated my reasons above. But it got me thinking, is it important what people thought about me if I was fat? Shouldn’t it be about the person who I am inside? I could lose weight and gain it all back again but the person who I am will not change. Skinny does not necessarily mean smart or, as I’ve come to accept, beautiful or even healthy. Continue reading
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
― Dr. Seuss