I’m going to be honest and say that I’m self conscious about my body weight (amongst a few other things), a lot of people are. Why am I so worried that I don’t have a flat tummy like the other girls or like the models in the magazines? I thought that people would love me more, nobody likes a fat kid, I mean those women look beautiful, slim, graceful and lithe. Society has painted this picture that skinny or slim women are beautiful and desirable and I was mesmerized by the pretty colours and wanted to be in that painting.
There was a point in my life, around 7th grade, that I began to eat less and less (I did not stop eating at together) and exercised more than I should when I should have gotten more sleep instead. I got my results, I dropped a few pounds, yippie, though I felt much weaker physically and mentally. The dreaded pounds caught up with me again after a while and by now I was just frustrated and more self conscious than before.
I read a lot, all kinds of books with all kind of stories and information and lessons the authors have learned over their years. I can’t remember exactly what I had read or what I had seen on television that had snagged my attention. The question was why was it important to be skinny? I stated my reasons above. But it got me thinking, is it important what people thought about me if I was fat? Shouldn’t it be about the person who I am inside? I could lose weight and gain it all back again but the person who I am will not change. Skinny does not necessarily mean smart or, as I’ve come to accept, beautiful or even healthy. Continue reading