Happy New Year!

First thing’s first, I was locked out of my account because I forgot where I put my list of codes to log in (typical) and  the text code feature wasn’t working, so yeah, I couldn’t post during Christmas week. A shout-out to Kris, the Happiness Engineer that got me back in. You rock, dude.

Got this cuddly widdle guy from here

I know 2014 has been absolute nonsense to some of us, sprinkled with the good things that propelled us forward. It’s 100% a possibility that is an understatement for many of people. Just thinking of last year, how close it is to this one still, rouses up some upsetting feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don’t like it one bit. Personally, sure I was conflicted here and there but on a more general level, a more connected-to-humanity-level I am disgusted with the senseless loss of life born of ignorance and hate, saddened and hollowed with the people lost from the air disasters and the boat ones and the train ones and those guys in the stampede in Beijing on New year’s day.

I don’t know what it takes to be someone to govern a country, city or town but it has to take a lot of brass. Every leader has his or her own agenda that affects ‘the people’ but I reflect especially on Russia and Ukraine, on whose affairs I’m not qualified on any level to speak on with any authority but that of a concerned and curious outsider, I ask not only those two leaders but all those involved in peace making in that conflict to do one thing: look at the people.

Yes, aid has pouring in as best as it could and I am at peace inside that people sill care enough (what does that tell about my outlook on humans? A post for another time probably). Again, I have not a clue about the mind numbing effort it takes to organize and make treaties and attend talks and make decisions affecting the lives of billions. But for a moment, can we all just step back from the political and religious extremism (I am not pointing fingers here) that usually start all this clusterfu-

Look, just step back, okay? Boys and men, and the girls and women in the battlefield. No longer fresh faced and ready. Angry and blank. Hot and cold. And look at the children huddled under rippling blue tarp in a hastily put together shelter some places familiar and those others foreign, alien; lost family members, festering wounds, chapped lips and spasming bellies, meticulously portioned food; mothers and fathers sick with worry, elders with bleak eyes and maps etched deep into their faces, souls ready to skedaddle out from their ears.

I am not saying that these leaders aren’t seeing because they most obviously do

The Sea: An exercise in simplicity.

While studying, Charles Trenet’s La Mer  came on the radio. I had to drop my pen, sit back and close my eyes. I knew the English translation and I also know it meant more than what it says. A bittersweet melody. Behind my eyelids, in my mind’s eye memories fall like feathers. Monochrome movies, a tavern by the seaside and wind blowing in from the windows, and the scent of soap. I remember rainy days and reading about Harry, Ron and Hermione when I’d read all over the house to be at peace with my thoughts. A simple song can be a key to memories so precious that I’d tuck them away for safe keeping, tucked away so well that I’d nearly forgot.

This was an exercise I participated in one of my tutor group’s discussions. the topic was simplicity, saying more with less. The best thing is pulling work from memory, like I did here. We had to comment, or “self reflect” on our pieces, which was refreshing because though I’d usually make comments at the back of my mind while writing and editing (ohmygods I now realize I’ve been doing a crap job at that) I never actually pay attention. Hope you liked it.

On a side note, La Mer literally translate from French to The Sea but some of you might be familiar with the English version, Somewhere beyond the sea (listen to the Bobby Darrin, Robbie Williams and Kevin Spacey versions!), while still charming loses some meaning from the original, according from comments on YT.

Cheers,

Devina ;)

Booyaa

Random stuff time.

Let me tell you a thing, I suck at interaction sometimes and this would mostly apply to blogging and visiting blogs. So when I say I am so grateful for all the visits this here humble virtual abode of mine got in my absence, I mean this with all my heart. I have one or two other excuses, of course. Thank you, gracias, merci, grazie! I can’t imagine why you guys stick around.

I’ve hit some sort of wall that I’m finally scaling at a creeping pace (if that makes sense) and my computer is still acting up even after the check up I got done and I’ve got to start saving up for a new one soon, and apparently I think better, or should say more, when I type as opposed to writing (except for poetry, though).

I’ve been drowning myself in music, more than the usual anyways. I’ve gotten into Radiohead quite a bit, “Body Snatchers” hooked me. Um then I discovered Redbone, The Archies and got an eyeful (haha) earful of “Hang on Sloopy” by The McCoys. Sort of a longish list, really. Also electro swing, ugh, such curvaceous sound waves.

I feel my attention slipping away already and I hate that. I hate that I want to write things but I end up feeling that I don’t follow through. I feel disappointed in my self yet I understand why … but still. I drive myself insane with contradicting tendencies, it almost makes sense.

I want to leave you jazz cats with this

New books! I will probably read my eyes off. Heh, most likely.

Aren’t they beauties?The Titan’s Curse is one of the few books I’m reading now and it looks like I’m eating up the pages! Okay I know I’ve been MIA for a week or few but I’m still stuck but I just had to share my most recent book haul with you guys! Also my laptop is freaking out and needs an exorcism or something and I’m writing this on my phone so please excuse what mistakes you might find. I follow The Little Book Owl on YT and I recalled her mentioning one of her tops included Starcrossed by Josephine Angelini, so I said why not.

It was a satisfying outing let me tell you. I finally got all the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books. Already, I’m itching for The Heroes of Olympus series but Austin’s don’t have those right now but they said soon. Here they are all together.

Here there be sick people and air benders

There’s this illness going around, chikungunya, and everyone’s got it or is trying to finally shake it off. Mercifully, all I’ve got is a mild flu and that says something. I don’t mean to boast but when there’s some nasty like that around I’m usually the last to get it or not at all. People keep telling me that I’m going to get it. Seriously, like can you not be happy for me?

I’ve been in no mindset whatsoever to blog, hardly to even read your stuff. What makes everything better, or at least to a good extent, is re-watching Avatar: The Last Air Bender, from start to finish, something I’ve never had the chance to to before. I’m currently at the second book, Earth, somewhere around chapter sixteen. It’s by far the best anime I’ve laid eyes on.

I’m picking up A Storm of Swords again as well as The Hobbit. I’ve mainly been reading Thea Harrison’s Elder Races series. I’ve yet to put them on Goodreads. If I have to give a collective rating it would be around 3.5 stars approaching a solid 4 stars, but I have to say it’s not what some people would consider their cup of tea.

What a game!

Germany vs. Argentina. Damn.

Two of my most favourite teams. All I could have hoped for was for at least some one winning or at least a tie but not ever at nil-nil.

Ugh the gut wrenching that went on in our living room. Yellow cards, trips and flips. Stubbornly refusing to cede a goal, or that was, until Mario Gotze shocked us with that neat shot! Oh my God, that was a surprise.

Argentina might have lost but boy did they defend! (on the whole, that is, *ahem*) Romero, though. I honestly thought they couldn’t have gotten past him.

They both played brilliantly!

He is holding a cat

… I think that is the most epic in this podcast (Welcome to Night Vale) ever, (and I must say Kevin pulled it of damn well) with the NV music swelling to a high and Kevin and Lauren we frozen in their Strex-made underwears. With fear. Of the man holding the cat (an Erika the *whispers* angel).

Okay … how shall I tell this one?

I was awaiting June the 1st with unhealthy anticipation. It was Sunday so I had chores to get done. I was about to collapse in a hot heap when I remembered why I was supposed to be so stoked! In this heat, shirts were for losers so I ditched mine and locked myself up in my room and sprawled on my bed, cradling my phone.

This magnificent piece of art it’s not mine. Via videntefernandez.tumblr.com. Please click image to see source.

What the hell. Let me just say that I had lost my marbles temporarily. It was good that I was alone but I think my family heard me because the gave me those knowing looks of concern.

So here’s a section of the transcript for this episode:48, Renovations. (The following are parts from the transcript I found at Cecil Speaks). It’s kind of long, but it would be cool it you read it through :)

“… You feel it, don’t you?”

“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?” 
― Rumi

Post-Matt blues: Ruminations of a forlorn Whovian

Van Gogh inspired fanart. Via Pinterest, click to see the pin.

So I’ve finished Doctor Who and am where everyone else is at, awaiting the rein of Peter Capaldi. My body spasms in tears and the time in between them can extend for days. I cry in quiet little tremors and every tear is like an arrow that leaks through the cracks in my skin and strikes my singular human heart. It is finally sinking in that Matt is not The Doctor on screen anymore. I mean, and we all can agree, that he – like the other magnificent men – will always be The Doctor. Our Doctor.

It bites every time a face is lost to time, if you know what I mean. Matt, oh, Matt. Ugh. I can’t ever say anything proper. I love him unlike any other. The funny thing is that at the beginning, I acknowledged him as the enigmatic Time Lord before I realized he was an actor. I mean that in a good way, and there are some bad ways it could go because I understand that some actors don’t like to be stuck in our minds just as a particular character. Matt, nah. He seems to bathe in every second of it.

I … I just. Oh for the love of custard and fish bits! I’ll spit it out. His Doctor was one who was filled with the pain on the inside but tried to cover it up under this ever fresh coat of happy paint; fresh because he mostly means it. He was the optimist, the best friend (and the son-in-law, hehe), ever the fighter and believer in dreams and bow-ties and fezzes. Matt’s energy and well-spring of vitality always always makes me feel better about myself and this world, more than any of the previous two had. I haven’t emphasized enough on how much of a goof he was but it was so obvious to us Whovians.

An open letter to the suicidal

(US and International suicide hotlines at the end)

Dear fellow humans,

If you made it past a really bad yesterday it means that you’re still here today, able to reach a computer, your eyes aren’t burning badly and too blurry from exhaustion. That’s a lot than what some people can say, the ones that collapse into an unconscious heap, sleep-starved. I don’t know what your life is like so I’m not going to pretend that I do but I have an idea of  how it can knock a body down.

It’s extremely saddening to hear when someone gives up on the whole business of existing. Suicide isn’t the solution. If anything, it makes life even more terrible for those still alive. This is issue has been plaguing me off and on for the past few months; why is it so appealing? Oblivion? But what use is that? When so many people are fighting every second, grabbing with hands and feet onto the thread that still binds them to life.

“There’s no such thing as an ordinary human.”

~The (ninth) Doctor

To friends and family and co-workers and even strangers

I understand it’s difficult to spot when when someone is thinking about committing suicide but whenever you see a friend depressed or withdrawn, try to talk to them. A lot of people feel unloved and not cared for, that they’re so insignificant that their absence won’t even matter. Show them that you’re there whenever they need you.

I honestly can’t remember where I found this and I sincerely hope it’s not something I could be sued over.

To you, the suicidal

Don’t do it. Please please please don’t. You’re so much more than nothing. You can turn around if you try and you really have to try. If not for your sake now, think about the family and friends and the strangers you’ll never meet, because you can affect everyone of them. One man caused the holocaust, he made that difference. So what change can you, a good person, make?

“900 years of time and space and I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important.”

– The (tenth) Doctor

You can be so much more. There might not be anyone else there for you but you. You are all that you have and you can be strong. I know, personally, someone who very nearly killed herself for the most stupid reason and today she see’s what a fool she was. Not all worries are stupid, or inconsequential but if you’re still breathing the next day, well, it means that it hasn’t destroyed you. If you can survive another day then you can do it again, again … and a thousand other days.