This morning I hadn’t much sleep, but unlike most this was with good reason. My grandma wasn’t feeling well and I got up to test her sugar and pressure a couple times. She took her pills. I worry about her. I followed her to the washroom least she falls and hit herself again. She insisted on going with my father to the city, ordering my mother and I not to tell him anything. I usually do tell him, but I suspect if I did today she’d end up getting mad at me and stressing her tired heart even more. I love my grandma dearly.
I’m always told that I’m her favourite, and I always smile because I could see that I was. For the most part of my eighteen years I slept by her side and as each year sprints away I wonder how much longer do we have with her. Well, her and my granda. I wouldn’t handle it well at all should something happen to them, and I hate to say this to sound biased, especially her. That woman is the most hard working person, next to my dad, who I had the honor to know, I would cry if I were to recount what the both of them have been through. My parents will be around for a while yet but I hope to God that I get to squeeze as much time with them.
I set my phone to wake her up a 2:30 AM. I got up again at five, opened my favourite window and cloud gazed. Mornings are for … I forgot this already, let me try … Mornings are for positive thoughts and good energy. Think about it; they aren’t there just to look pretty (if the weather feels fine), it has a purpose and if you look hard enough and far enough you’ll see it.
It’s there to remind us that today’s slate is much cleaner than the way we left it yesterday, to say that ‘okay here, you have another chance’. Do you realize that? We all, at some point, pray for a second chance when it is given to us each and every blessed day. We just have to reach out and seize it. That in itself might not be a simple thing to do, to get up from whatever is holding you down from moving forward, but if it were always easy would it be worth it? With and work and determination comes a satisfaction that wouldn’t feel the same if you got it any other way.
Mornings are there to remind us of all the good still there in this world despite the ever increasing bad that’s bubbling up nowadays. Sunrises are a visual manifestation of hope, something so intangible yet it touches us deep inside to inspire, to encourage, to believe. That’s why mornings are important to me but unfortunately, my sleeping patterns don’t allow me to indulge this pastime so maybe this is why I don’t feel right most days.
The crisp breeze is a reassuring hand on my shoulder and a kiss on my cheek. It tears me up to think that these things, Mother Nature really, care about me, about us, so much that they don’t cease in their efforts. Some of you might say it’s Him, I believe that too and it amazes me to see that love expressed in this way. I just want to hold out my arms and gather the trees, the birds, wind and all, and give one gigantic hug of appreciation. I can do this by protecting them, I want to, and they tell me that I can. I can’t remember when I figured out this, I think it must have hit me on an west wind draft one day.
Perhaps after reading this I have convinced you how crucial it is not to underestimate the power of the first light of day, be it even though a cloudy, grey and depressing sky. Through peace and war it shines like a beacon with rays of hope from some distant lighthouse to guide us along our individual, yet interconnecting, paths. What I write, I think it’s just a slice out of the whole pie. It’s up to you to piece it together and gleam what truths hide in front of you. In finishing these last words I would like to believe after having read it all that you will never look at another morning the same way ever again.