I’ve come to realize this for some time now. Whether you know it or not, the people around us help shape who we are and while that’s good it’s a tricky task to not let them make us who we are not, to not let them dictate what we should and should not do. Most of the time they can’t be blamed; not everyone is aware of their effect on others, it is up to you to single yourself, to stand out.
Sometimes we consciously make the choice to be someone else. I’m guilty of this. You can’t be anyone else, but you can sure try. I find that when I do this I’m always discontent with myself. I know that it’s because I can’t be someone I’m not meant to be and I’d always end up hating myself. It’s like shoving a puzzle piece into where it doesn’t fit no matter how much you press and reposition.
I believe it’s okay to have role models. Look up to them, retain their good values and learn from their past fumbles, but it just won’t do to try to be almost exactly like someone you’re not no matter what a great person they are or were. Why? Simple, they are they, he is he and she is she. You are you.We’re all cut out to be different from each other though some of us might come from similar cloth, but in different shapes, textures, colours, plus those tiny details and patterns, patches even, that distinguishes us.
Going in a bit deeper, are our peers and our families influence our decisions on this topic. One word: expectations. It’s natural to have them, heck, we expect things from ourselves. But no one has the right to expect things I can’t possibly accomplish, including me. Boy oh boy, this is getting more complicated so I’ll digress from this point.
The world is changing, and we must adapt but our essence, what makes us one of a kind will remain deep down inside our being. No force, not even gravity, can ever gain enough momentum to change that. So to you people I failed to convince, if you keep up with this play acting you are more than likely to be distressed, at yourself and the world. I’m just saying, and this might not be true for some but speaking from experience this is one of the many courses the bitter waters traverse.
Ask yourself: What’s wrong with me? What is it that I don’t like about myself? Why? There are more questions, different ones for each of us. It would be best to think about these long and hard and answer yourself honestly, otherwise … well … you’d be lying to yourself and that’s just plain counterproductive.
As for me, I’m still coming out of my shell, I’m still discovering the person I am. I’m insecure and I’m working on self-acceptance and my self-esteem. I figured that if I’m the one who will be with myself for every year of my life, every month, week, day, hour, minute and every second, then I should be able to stand myself, to be comfortable in my own skin. I must be able to respect who I am. I must be able to look myself in the eye and say “I love you. You are special. You are worth it. You are beautiful. Don’t ever change.”
This is one of the thinks I hope to accomplish in my life, and since I’m still young I’ve got a good start. I posted this on impulse so I didn’t get to bang my head against it repeatedly, so let me know if you spot any kinks.
How about you? Are you one of those who’ve succeeded in this endeavor? Have anything to contribute? Please do share, I’m always willing to hear your thoughts even if you disagree with me 🙂
Have a peaceful Sunday everyone, Monday’s upon us like a pack of wolves already. *sighs*