I’m tired

(via Pinterest)

I’m tired because I don’t get enough sleep, if I could help it I would. I’m tired of preaching to my sisters to close the tap properly, don’t they know how much water is being wasted? I’m tired of the judgmental people in my society who have no business in my affairs. I’m trying to learn how to ignore them, because they don’t matter. Of course I have opinions too but it’s up to you if you give a damn. I am tired of feeling weak and unable because I really know that’s a lie but sometimes lies feel really real.

I am tired of being sad and depressed of teenagers, and adults also, committing suicide ending their lives out of shame for one reason or another under pressure from peers and even neighbours. For being gay and unable to change that without hurting themselves, for being introverted and teased for being that way. Because they were being themselves.

Correct me if I am wrong but I get the general impression (via media) that we are being encouraged to be who we are, to not pretend to fit in because it is hurtful to us. Where is the sense in this opposition? Probably it’s because

Lines, some are meant to be erased … and some aren’t

Unity by Nelum Walpola via paintingsbynelum.com

There I was 4 in the morning saying my prayers after I finished the book The Help that I had stayed up to finish. So I was saying to God that how grateful I am to Him for everything I have and for letting me be the person that I am and that aside from nightly prayers that we should talk more often (wondering where this is going yet? I’ll be getting to that in a bit)
I tell you how good it feels how comforting it is to have Him to talk to, knowing that He always there, listening to what I have to say and that I cannot ever fully express how much I appreciate His company. My thoughts lingered on that word ‘appreciate’ and  then my mind wondered off (surprise surprise) … Like very way off.

Why can’t we appreciate each other as human beings and other animals? Why is it that we have so many lines drawn between us, i.e, rich and poor, ethnicity and the prejudice? The logical part of me says that some of these lines are there to maintain order and that’s good and all but I can’t ignore that some were made by people who just want to be mean, enabling this sort of segregation.
While I was thinking all of this I was flat on my back nodding off to sleep and that still conscious part of my mind warned that I’ll forget all about this in the morning, convincing myself that if I don’t get this down soon I will most likely be spending the rest of my days searching the nooks and crannies of my head for what I was thinking about this morning. So at this point my hand shot under my sister’s pillow and found her I-Pod right after which I began typing everything written here with my tortured thumbs.

Okay, back to what I was saying …